5 Things I Learned at My First Fetish Convention

Image credit: Portland Leather Alliance and Kinkfest 2017

Generally when writing a piece for this site, I like to start from a deep well of experience. However, last week I attended my first ever large scale kink convention, Portland Leather Alliance's KinkFest 2017. Where my virgin convention-goer status was a hindrance, it provided many opportunities for learning that I thought I'd share.

5. Do your research

I'm a bit of a broken record about this, but it really is important. Always do your research before you go/ play/ enjoy any fetish event!

With conventions specifically, check out the message boards on Fetlife/ facebook ahead of time. Many attendees plan special dinners and parties away from the convention site, but space will be limited. You can also find special deals and offers, as well as ride-shares and groups looking to split room costs. (Super helpful if you're doing it on the cheap).

I made the mistake of taking a "leaf on the wind" approach to the convention, figuring that I would land where I needed to be. The result was a bit of an unplanned mess, and I frequently found myself saying, "I wish I had known about that!"

4. Pack layers for all occasions

Depending on the con's individual rules, you may find yourself in a clothing optional zone! This is super fun, if you have the right wardrobe to maximize the experience. This is no time for your granny panties (unless that's what you are into. Then by all means, indulge!) Be sure to pack your fun underthings and your personal gear so that, if you choose, you can undress. Rope, cuffs, and collars are all encouraged. And remember, as previously stated about fetish events, get your sexy outfit photos outside of the event- anywhere that nudity is an option, cameras will not be allowed.

My first day I wore a sexy outer layer, but I missed some opportunities for fun out of embarrassment of my worn-out bra. The second day with my sexy lingerie was much more fun- no opportunities missed!

3. Don't skip the workshops

Workshops don't necessarily sound like the main draw- how about that sweet open dungeon?- but don't miss the chance to learn from the best. Kink is such a complex and many layered thing, the chance to learn about it from experienced teachers in a safe place really can't be overstated.

I was prepared to view the workshops, but I did not come prepared to take notes, which I dearly regret! Amazing workshops at KinkFest included Tying (Rope Bondage) for Connection, Service and Position Training, and Victorian Service Protocol.

2. Bring plenty of cash for the vendors

However much cash you bring, it will not be enough. Vendors at KinkFest pulled out all the stops. Bury any thoughts of online purchasing, as online shipping will not give you a chance to try on or try out the veritable cornucopia of whips, floggers, chains, collars, cuffs and service gear that they will have on the convention floor. Also, many vendors bring out one of a kind items, or items that they can adjust to a custom fit.

My two favorite booths were Torrid Timber and CopperKink, both of whom had items I could never have dreamed up, but now I can't stop dreaming about!

1. Don't be fearful of the open dungeon

As brave as I like to think myself to be, the open dungeon was scary to me. It wasn’t the naked people- I very much enjoy seeing naked people. And it wasn’t the articles of punishment and options for pain. What really scared me was a simple thought- how do I make friends?

I walked in and did a few laps around the dungeon, both intrigued with the scenes I was seeing and frustrated by not finding anyone I knew. Then I spotted a circle of people on some mats and asked what they were doing. Answer- BDSM (consent based) spin-the-bottle. “Would you like to join?” they asked. Yes, yes I would.

While my experience cannot speak to all fetish/kink conventions (sample size of one), there are distinct trends that I see perpetuated in the community in both the microcosm of the local club and the macrocosm of the large scale convention. Kindness, willingness for inclusion, acceptance and a strong emphasis on consent are trademarks of the kink community. Cons are made unique by their sheer volume, giving the attendee a myriad of chances to play, learn and grow into the best kinkster they can be.

Ask around at your local fetish club to find the next convention near you. When you do go, have a blast, and come prepared!